can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The air was thick with penises
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
