kristin has been a bad kristin
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
