I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
this is an emotional support booty call
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
