i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
