That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
