Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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