p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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