pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
