ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
