I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
