The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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