I just cut my nipple shaving
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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