Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
