Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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