idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
