So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
