dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
