Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
