plz talk dirty to me
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
