Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
