The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
