Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
