i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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