I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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