finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you win again, gameday.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
