just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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