A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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