You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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