i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize