Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
