if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
