you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
