FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Do you have feelings for this penis?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
