If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i now understand why vodka
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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