GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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