Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
