Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i've created a new STD.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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