Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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