im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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