im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
