We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Semen is not good for contacts.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
