evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
