Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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