I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
