hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
