your room smells of hookers.
And success
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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