I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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