If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I need to wash the frat house off of me
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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