I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
