Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
