he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
