I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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